this is long so if you can't read it all please don't answer-you won't help me if you don't read it all!! thanks!!
been w/bf for almost 4 years. i'm 29 w/3 little girls who we take care of part time. he's 30-no kids, never married.
we've had our ups and downs like any relationship but are due to start counseling this coming thursday to help sort out some minor communication hurdles (nothing to big so i thought).
this past year has been hard on us financially b/c my wages at work were being garnished and i couldn't afford rent at my apt on my own (i was supposed to move in w/him since i only stay at the apt 4 days a month but last Nov he decided he wasn't ready). he's been helping me pay my rent,utilities,gas for my car,etc. just this past month my wages went back to normal and i've been paying my bills ok.
he's been stressing out b/c he states he doesn't have any money left in savings and his property taxes are due at the end of this month which he claims he can't pay.
i left his house sunday like i do every other sunday to go back to my house w/my kids b/c he needed to sleep for work. he hugged me really tight and kissed me goodbye saying he loved me.
about 10 mins after i get home, there was a voicemail left by him that was quite cold asking me where the netflix movies were that we had ordered-he stated he wouldn't have time to burn them unless i brought them back. I called him back stating I would burn them and mail them back. he got upset stating that it was HIS account and he didn't want to go to jail if i accidently put burned dvd copies in the mail-i got mad saying i wasn't stupid and an adult. he demanded i bring them back so to save an argument i said fine and agreed to return them on monday morning.
an hour later he called back stating there was too much going on in his life with work and not being able to pay his bills and that we needed to break up!! I was PISSED and hurt-he knew my kids were with me!!! i started crying and asked him what drugs he was on. then he started getting really mean telling me that he didnt have his cushion (the 3 grand in savings)anymore and it was my fault. if he hadn't helped me out, he'd be fine right now. I got mad telling him he didnt have to stay. then i asked him if he loved me and he said no!! I was crying,screaming and livid at this point. I told him he had lied to me when i left that morning by telling me he loved me and he replied that no he hadn't lied to me. so I asked me why he told me he loved me before i left if he was NOW telling me he didnt love me and all he could say was he didnt know.
then he said that his life has been flipped upside down since he met me and sometimes me and the kids drive him nuts. I was crying so hard by now and wouldn't say anything to him.
he accused me of only borrowing money then made fun of me by saying "you don't know how to budget your money. you don't even have money in your wallet right now do you?!!" I was crying really hard by this point and I screamed that I hated him and hung up.
he called back right away saying he was sorry, was stressed out, would go to our counseling appointment with me and to forget he ever called and said those things.he then stated he knows he has issues. he then said he'd call me tomorrow (he never did).
I showed up yesterday am to try and return the movies like planned but he had shut off the garage door opener so i couldn't get in the house so i returned them myself. i came back that night while he was at work and the house was open. none of our pictures were moved and all of my stuff was in the same spot (he's moved it all into the garage once before when mad at me).
he's been on meds and in counseling before for depression so i'm thinking he still is having issues with that but why call me and get me all hurt and hysterical only to call back and apologize and tell me to forget it all? and then why now won't he call or email me?!!
and on top of it all-he just spent 200 bucks on a new rc airplane yesterday!! all this after telling me he had no savings and couldn't pay his bills!!!! i know this b/c the business email he used we share.
and NO he's not cheating-i have his passwords to all his emails,myspace (which he hasn't been on in 2 years), and voicemail-he gave them to me voluntarily.
and NO I don't want to just walk out. we get along most of the time, he doesn't abuse me, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and takes an active role in helping me raise my girls (he loves them and even goes to parent conferences with me).
will counseling help this?!!! does he need medication?!!